August 24, 2025September 8, 2025

Anything That’s Available Is Never Appreciated

✪ Introduction

One of the most fascinating truths about human behavior is that availability decreases appreciation. Whether it’s in relationships, friendships, or life itself, the more accessible something is, the less value people place on it. Scarcity creates desire. Boundaries create respect.

This principle is not new. Economists call it the “scarcity principle.” Psychologists describe it as “hedonic adaptation”—the more we have something, the less joy we feel from it. The Kingdom of God calls it stewardship of value. Jesus Himself taught: “Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet.” (Matthew 7:6, AMP).

This principle applies profoundly to relationships, life, and spirituality.

⚜ Part One: In Relationships

✦ The Trap of Over-Availability

Many men and women step into relationships believing that giving everything early on—attention, loyalty, money, intimacy, and secrets—will secure the other person’s love. Instead, the opposite happens: the one receiving begins to take them for granted.

A woman who is always emotionally and physically available to a man without requiring responsibility may soon discover that he stops pursuing her.
A man who constantly showers a woman with gifts, texts, and time without balance may find that she loses attraction because he has no boundaries.

Humans are wired to respect what requires effort. What is too easily accessible appears common, even if it is priceless.

✦ Case Study

Consider a wife who cooks, cleans, sacrifices, and gives herself fully to her husband every day. She thinks her consistency will keep his love alive. Instead, he grows colder. He begins to disrespect her sacrifices because they are guaranteed. Later, when she withdraws to focus on her growth, her boundaries force him to notice her again.

This is not because she became more valuable—she was always valuable. It is because her availability was restructured, and scarcity reawakened his appreciation.

❀ Part Two: In Life

✦ Health and Time

We wake up every morning with breath in our lungs, energy in our bodies, and hours on the clock. Yet because these are always available, we rarely stop to value them. A man who takes health for granted may only realize its worth when struck by sickness. A woman who wastes time discovers too late that time is the one resource that never returns.

✦ Family and Relationships

Children often ignore the wisdom of their parents while they are alive, dismissing their words as outdated or unnecessary. Yet when those parents pass away, suddenly every piece of advice, every memory, every word becomes priceless.

The principle holds: availability blinds us, scarcity awakens gratitude.

✧ Part Three: The Psychological Root

Humans are instinctively drawn to rarity. The luxury market thrives on this principle—limited editions, exclusivity, and high price tags increase desire. In relationships, the same truth applies.

Psychologists call it “intermittent reinforcement”—people value what is not always predictable. That is why constant availability reduces attraction, while measured presence and mystery sustain it.

But it goes deeper. At its root, availability touches identity and self-worth. When someone makes themselves too available, they signal subconsciously: “My value is cheap, because anyone can access it.” Boundaries, on the other hand, declare: “I know my worth, and it cannot be trampled.”

✪ Part Four: The Kingdom Perspective

The Kingdom of God emphasizes stewardship of what is valuable. Pearls are not to be cast before swine. Sacred things must be guarded. Love, intimacy, loyalty, and trust are treasures meant to be preserved for covenant.

Even God practices this principle. His presence is not cheaply available to all. Though His love is unconditional, His depths are reserved for seekers. Jeremiah 29:13 says: “Then you will seek Me, inquire for, and require Me [as a vital necessity] and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.” (AMP).

If God Himself does not make His treasures cheaply available, why should we?

⚜ Part Five: The Dangers of Misplaced Availability

Relational Devaluation: Being too available causes partners to lose attraction and respect.
Loss of Boundaries: Availability without discernment leads to abuse, manipulation, and disrespect.
Spiritual Neglect: When believers treat God’s grace as “always available,” they fall into sin and complacency. Paul warns against this in Romans 6:1–2.
Generational Impact: Children who grow up seeing parents devalue each other’s presence will repeat the same cycle in their relationships.

✦ Final Thought

In life and relationships, whatever is always there is often overlooked until it is gone. True wisdom is to appreciate availability while it exists, and to protect one’s own availability so it remains precious.

Boundaries are not walls—they are gates that decide who enters, when, and how. Scarcity sparks gratitude. Protection preserves value.

So, in your relationships, in your time, in your health, and in your spiritual walk: do not make yourself so cheaply available that your value becomes invisible.

Because the truth will always remain: Anything that’s available is never appreciated—until it’s gone.