The days of ignorance are over. If she is not a virgin, by the standard of the Word, she does not deserve a ceremonial wedding.
One of the most degrading things a man can ever do is to sponsor a grand ceremonial wedding for a woman who is not a virgin.
Think about it: the men who have already slept with her will be in the crowd, dressed in their finest, smiling outwardly but laughing inwardly. While they eat the rice and chicken you paid for, they can still replay her past in their minds. They remember what you are now calling “your wife” in her former glory.
They know you are not very wise. They know you’ve been shortchanged. They know you have invested in what they have already consumed. In their eyes, you are a waste man.
Even worse, some of them may still have access to her in the future—because where there is no covenant purity, there is no true loyalty.
The days of ignorance are over. If she is not a virgin, by the standard of the Word, she does not deserve a ceremonial wedding.
The Scriptural Order of Marriage
The Bible is not silent on this matter. It gives us a clear Kingdom pattern:
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Virginity was the foundation for dowry:
“If a man seduces a virgin who is not betrothed, and lies with her, he must pay a dowry for her to be his wife.” (Exodus 22:16–17, AMP) -
Loss of virginity disqualified a woman from ceremonial honor:
“But if this charge is true, that the girl was not found to have evidence of virginity, then they shall bring the girl to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her to death…” (Deuteronomy 22:20–21, AMP)
In Kingdom culture, bride price was not just money—it was covenant recognition of purity and exclusivity. It was a transaction of honor. A virgin represented uncorrupted land, a sealed inheritance, and a vessel worthy of carrying generational seed.
When you pay dowry for a non-virgin, you are operating outside of Kingdom law. You are financing what Heaven does not endorse.
Christian Marriage vs. Kingdom Marriage
Here is where many get lost:
Christian marriage and Kingdom marriage are not the same thing.
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Christian marriage (as practiced in the church today) is often a religious ceremony filled with rituals—white dress, exchange of vows, cake-cutting, and celebrations. It is often more about culture and tradition than divine order. In fact, many Christian marriages have become more about social display than covenantal principle.
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Kingdom marriage, on the other hand, is not built on tradition but on principle. Kingdom marriage is rooted in covenant, purity, inheritance, and dominion. It is not just about two people coming together, but about two destinies aligning for the fulfillment of God’s purpose on earth.
In Kingdom marriage, purity is not negotiable, because it preserves the law of first fruit. God demands that what is first belongs to Him. A virgin is the first fruit of her father’s house, and when she enters covenant marriage, her husband lawfully redeems that fruit through dowry. That is why dowry was only paid for virgins.
Christian marriage may give you a ring, a certificate, and a party. Kingdom marriage gives you covenant, inheritance, and divine approval.
The Kingdom Principle of Virginity
Virginity was never just a physical matter; it was a spiritual law of territory. A virgin represented exclusive land—land that had never been tilled, land reserved for the lawful husband.
This is why God compared Israel to a virgin bride (Jeremiah 18:13, Amos 5:2). Virginity represented covenantal loyalty and purity. A defiled woman symbolized a defiled covenant, and a defiled covenant could not be honored with ceremonial recognition.
Thus, when a man marries a non-virgin and throws a ceremonial wedding, he is celebrating what Heaven considers defiled. He is paying a price for what has already been consumed.
The True Kingdom Standard
In the Kingdom, marriage is about more than love, feelings, or culture—it is about legacy.
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A Kingdom husband represents Christ, and a Kingdom wife represents the Church.
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Christ’s bride (the Church) is expected to be pure, spotless, and undefiled. (Ephesians 5:27, AMP)
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In the same way, a Kingdom wife is expected to embody covenantal purity.
To throw a grand wedding ceremony for a woman who has already been defiled is to misrepresent Christ and His covenant with the Church. It confuses religion with Kingdom order.
The Tragedy of Ignorance
Many men, out of desperation or ignorance, sponsor grand weddings for women who do not meet the Kingdom standard. They think marriage is only about love, companionship, or societal approval. But in truth, marriage is a Kingdom covenant that preserves inheritance, lineage, and dominion.
When you violate the order, you inherit shame instead of honor. The men who were there before you will mock you, society may clap for you, but Heaven frowns at you.
Final Word
Marriage in the Kingdom is too sacred to be reduced to cultural theatrics. Dowry is not a price tag—it is a seal of purity. Ceremonial weddings were designed for virgins because they symbolized uncorrupted territory worthy of public honor.
So, if she is not a virgin, by Kingdom law, she does not deserve a ceremonial wedding. To do otherwise is to walk in ignorance and to dishonor the order of God.
